dear scranton,
we’re really sorry for embarrasing you. we really didn’t mean to show up, teach you how to party, teach you how to play, win all seven games by a combined score of 102-25, and only have two girls playing savage the whole time. we feel pretty bad about it. and perhaps we were a little harsh on your B-team as well. that wasn’t very considerate of us to shut them out 15-0. we are actually having a meeting to discuss whether or not it is fair to continue using our zone on teams from pennsylvania. i should personnaly apologize to your team for my disgusting act of unsportanship when i somersaulted in the endzone then ran away from a befuddled defender, gaining applause from your own teamates. that was wrong. whoopsy. so we’re all very sorry and to show our remorse we left you a big piece of metal in your kitchen worth ten american dollars. hope you’ll invite us back next year. welp, seeya later.
love high dive
